okay its been a year...i had good times i had bad... i had days where i fought to keep my quit and had days when i couldnt understand why i ever smoked in the first place...well, its been a year ... now i dont have craves anymore... or do i...i dont think so but for some reason i get times when i really wish i had one....
today i watched my coworkers run... yes i said run to the elevator at break time...laughing and running to get their fix....
this hit me two ways... first i was very thankful at not needing a smoke...but then i wished i had someone to talk to again like old times....strangers can be so nice to you while smoking...they strike up conversations... they tell you jokes
but then after romancing... i am having a hard time about romancing...anyway after romancing i think about what is different in this new life im living...
yeah i miss the fake friends.. but they werent real...they woulkd turn on you in a heart beat if you started bumming cigarettes from them....i guess i could strike up conversations with the ones that didnt run out except they usually are occupying themselves in other ways.. reading talking on their phone or visiting friends.....
wel as i was saying...i know the root of what is causing my romancing... its adjustment...i am having a hard time adjusting...well thanks for hearing me out....
izzy
