Hi Guys!
My mother recently had a surgery to stop the clots in her legs from travelling and she has had her home taken from her as the doctor in the hospital has placed her in a nursing home for the next 6-12 months or possibly indefinetely.
Now family and friends are all coming to me because I am the Power of Attorney and asking me what I think we should do and how would I like to see her treated. To be honest I feel very uncomfortable talking to some of these people because they are talking as if she has passed away already and she is only 63 years old!! For crying out freaking loud gimme a break!!
She is unable to walk and care for herself and desires to remain independent and I keep weighing out all the pro's and con's of her care providers, and the care she is being provided, and closely watching the unmentionable amounts of medication she is on and how they are interacting with each other and her as well.
I am also examining the side effects and trying to help them rule out certain concerns or possible diagnoses, I think my mother is being treated unfairly and unjustly. But also, there is nothing I can say or do that is going to change the fact that she may in fact be doing some of this to get attention and if that's the case she needs a very extensive psychiatric evaluation as well as a battery of tests and blood work and uralysis to get to the bottom of this whole mess once and for all.
Long story short, I wanted to drive myself to the convienent store and buy another pack of cigarettes and begin smoking them like I had never stopped. But something inside me stopped me and I decided to come on here to seek comfort and encouragement instead. I am so close to a breaking point and I really at the same time don't want to screw up a month and a few days of being smoke-free.
I hate feeling this way and I have no insurance to get any of my life sustaining medications and mental health sustaining medications refilled. So, "here I go again " going down the only road I've ever known, like a drifter I was born to walk alone...but I am tired of feeling alone and scared.
Please someone hear my cries and help me to stay strong because I am feeling incredibly weak right now.
Thank you, my heart is with all of you, stay strong, I'm trying to!
Carolyn/flutterbye
