While traveling through No Man’s Land, one of the “love letters” I received from Nic O’Demon went a little something like this…
Dear Storm -
Okay, okay…I realize now that you are serious about walking away from me. I get that now, and I respect that. But, did you have to dump me so unceremoniously? I mean, the night you dumped me, you smoked with me right up to nearly midnight, and then you just tossed our remaining 7 cigarettes in the toilet - the damn toilet! - and just flushed them away.
How crass! How crude! How undignified! To throw a good friend down the crapper like that!
After 28 years together, did I not deserve a proper send-off? A goodbye ceremony? A funeral? A decent burial?
All I’m asking here is that you say goodbye to me in a better, more memorable way. That’s all. So, go buy a real last pack of cigarettes, drive us to the lake, kayak out to the middle of the water, and savor that last puff at sunset. Or hike us deep into some forest somewhere, smoke one last time in a grassy meadow, dig a hole under a gorgeous tree, and give me a proper burial. Or take me on one last trip up to the mountains, up high where the waterfalls are, and say goodbye to me there, in the mist.
Please? If it has to end, just don’t let it end with a stupid commode flush, okay? Anything would be better than the @*^$*# way you got rid of me.
I deserve better! I deserve more than that, you lousy...!
Yours forever -
Nic O’Demon
Wow. Yeah…and the crazy thing is that this letter had actual power. I really did regret not having a more poignant and symbolic finale to my 28 years of smoking, and it bothered me for a few days back then.
But, all those other times I tried to quit? All those failed quits? Yeah, they each started with a funeral. Every single one of them. Each time was The Last Time I Would Smoke. And you see how that turned out.
So, what’s my point? Well, throw a really big party when you quit! Yes!
Or do nothing special at all. No.
It’s entirely up to you how and when and where that last cigarette gets snubbed out. Just know that no matter what send-off you choose, Nic O’Demon won’t like it. Oh, no, no, no! He’ll whisper to you later that it should have been different. It should have been special. It should have been… more.
Once you stomp it out and walk away, then…walk…away. Done is done. Over with. Don’t look back. What you leave behind you will never be as special and poignant as what you have in front of you, anyway.
STORM: 186
