Last night I laid in bed thinking of how different this night was, exactly a week ago....
At that time we had planned our great escape from nicotine.....when my husband went to bed....I stared at him in wonder.....How could he go to sleep? Wasn't he aware that he can no longer chew tobacco, that by closing his eyes, he has said goodbye to his best friend? How could he lay there so peacefully? What the hell is wrong with him...lol...?!?
I, on the other hand, stayed up.....I sat, I read, I smoked, I came to the EX site and read some more.....was I going to be able to do this? What the hell was wrong with me?!? Finally, I too closed my eyes....knowing that I too was no longer to use nicotine....
It's good to remind myself when I get strong urges, that I don't want to go back to that feeling of restlessness, and fear right before my quit.....the unsureness, the "will I disappoint" feeling.....the "can I get this started" feeling....that part is so hard for me.....
So yes, we are working to maintain our escape and not get caught again.....today begins week 2 : )
No matter how strong a crave is......it is better than that planning stage, for me at least.....and I sooooo need to remember this!!!!
