Mondays, the start of the new week and stronger commitment. I am always waiting til Monday to do better on the diet, have better outlooks on life and make changes. Starting fresh I tell myself. Well that doesn't always happen. I did, however, stop smoking on a Monday, 3 months ago today. So far it I have remained smoke free so I should be happy, right? The past couple of days have been rough, maybe it's NML, maybe just some depression but whatever it is, i am having a hard time shaking it. I did nothing all weekend but sitting around the house. I couldn't bring myself to do anything more.
My husband had surgery on Tuesday which went well and which will make his life better. He is usually a happy-go-lucky guy who can always make me laugh. Understandably, he wasn't himself the past couple of days but it is so hard to see him that way. It bothers me to see him go through pain. Anyway, that could be another thing that got me down.
I thought about asking for a drag of cigarette yesterday but how would that have helped. I really thought I was doing better than i feel right now which makes me feel weak. I am trying so hard not to let it get the better of me. A good cry may help but that takes a while to build before i actually let it happen.
I'm going to beat this feeling!! I hate it.
