Sad day... I almost didn't want to write this blog because people are hurting today... and I like upbeat... but I need to say it because it is important, at least to me
One year today my dad died.... peacefully? in his sleep. This was after many years of pain and impending death. He had COPD / CHF / CAD / and finally lung cancer. In 1991 they said he had about 6 months to live... they were wrong... or were they? Was that living? The pain... slow death that took away his ability to do everything that meant anything to him.
Now when I was a child, I remember standing on his cowboy boots.. walking on them so to speak. My father and I weren't close, but that was a good memory. Looking back now I was walking in his footsteps.... for years. Trying to get his approval.... stepping carefully to get his attention. Looking for the imprints in the mud and sand to know just which step to take... I called him to ask for is advise, sometimes because I needed it and other times so he would know I needed him. Always stepping carefully... watching for that footstep that meant I was on the right path.
I say this is important to me because I just looked behind me.... and saw little footprints in my slightly larger boot print....my children and my grandchildren... looking at my footprints trying to find their way in this world. I want them to see my FREEDOM.... not my struggle. I don't want them to see smoking as something to yearn for or succumb to.... I want them to see... that at the end of my life....
I chose FREEDOM....
