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Oy Vay

May 14, 2014 Comments (12)

View MeganRose1011's Blog

Im not sure if thats actually how you spell that or not lol oh well...

I really wish I had internet at my place, it would make coming on here to talk to you guys so much easier! Its been too long I feel since I have been on here last.

So I caved, and was drinking one night and started smoking again, as you all remember Im sure.

I am all about honesty, so here it goes... I have still been smoking since then.  I didnt throw any away, didnt stop buying them. Ive baught another pack or two since I started drinkin that night even.

THIS IS SO HARD! Why is it so hard to quit smoking cigarettes?! People quit harder drugs and dont have as hard of a time as I feel I am having with quitting smoking .

I DO want to quit, please believe me when I say that. I REALLY do. I think I need to try a different tactic/technique...something needs to be done differently.

I still consider you guys to be my EX Family even though I am picked up smoking again, I mean this isnt only for people who have already quit right? Its still for those who WANT to but need people to talk to about it....

I dont want lung cancer, dont want to die from this by any means. Can I let you inside my mind a minute and try to explain my thoughts? I am not a pack or two a day smoker, a pack lasts me at least a couple days. Sometimes three. I feel as though I am not smoking enough for it to be as bad for me as someone who somkes more than a pack a day. I havent been smoking for that long either, I started like 6 years ago. Which is a long time I guess, but not since I was 9 or 13 like some people I know. So because of these thoughts, I think whats the harm?

I know thats not the way to look at it, I know that no matter how many I smoke or for how long it is still not good for me. I get that, and I probably sound naive with what I just said. But does it make sense to anyone else?

Please share your thoughts, would love to hear from you guys!


Comments (12)

I recently lost a perfecly good 48 day quit.  Fool that I am.  I am still determined to quit.  But, like you, I seem to find it so hard to do.  I understand.  All we can do is to continue to make our way through to the quitness of it


rosemarymom 984 days ago

Hear you Megan!!!  I read somewhere in the many readings I've done nicotine is like THE most addictive substance known to man!  I believe it!  Grrrr! But I see all these folks on here and so many people I know (everyone but me it seems) have quit for years. So we know it CAN be done. Willpower doesn't work but being "willing" does!  Sending you encouragement to get back on that horse no matter how many times it takes!  Never quit quitting!!

annb 984 days ago

To be brutally honest Megan, no, it doesn't make sense to me, it honeslty just sounds like a lot of excuses and letting the addiction get the better of you.  And no, there really isn't a tougher drug to come off of, this particular drug is legal and easily accessible. 

In any event, I wish you luck, but more I wish I could give you some of my experience.  I had my head in the sand too, but I can tell you this, without a shadow of a doubt, suffocating sucks.  Coughing to clear your lungs only to have them tighten up with each inhale is beyond frightening.  Struggling for air and then starting to see stars knowing you're going to loose consciousness takes the cake...  Am I getting anywhere? Because that's what smoking does, it kills and slowsly to boot. 

Rosemary, I'm sorry you slipped.  I don't think you gave a shout out, did you?  Nobody lost the quit, it's there for the taking.....

Call it tough love,

Fannie a/k/a Courage

Courage 984 days ago

My quit date is 5/20. I have been using this site on and off since Jan. and like you, relapsed with smoking the same day I drank. I have awful lung problems after smoking for 42yrs. Quitting is hard and the more you put it off the harder it gets. However, reading all the blogs of all the elders it is doable! The important thing is learning from your relapse. I am well aware of how I literally set myself up. 

If @ first you don't succeed, do it like your mother told you to begin with! And I'm sure she never told you to smoke.

Quit with me next Tues. and we will support each other. Don't be afraid to use nicotine replacement (gum or in my case, patches.


constanceclum 984 days ago

Good Morning Megan!  I'm glad that you are still trying to find what works for you and not give up trying.  I've been a member of becomeanex since 2011, but as you can see it took me until 09/2012 to finally succeed and today I speak to you with 606 days under my belt.  

Set another date!  Don't give up.  The best thing to do is educate yourself.  Read the sites that are recommended.   Like "Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking."  or "Whyquit.com"    You need to read the material that is recommended by everyone here at the EX because it really does help.  Talk to everyone here, and when you get to your quit date, blog as much as you need to help you get through.  Change what you do and how you do it.  Instead of going in to the gas station I started using my debit card to avoid  the urge to buy another pack.  I even changed regular gas stations for awhile because I didn't want the temptation as the people started to know what brand I liked.  Urges happen when you're driving. Turn up the radio sing to the song on the radio, who cares what the person in the car next to you thinks.  They will never see you again.  These are just a few things that I can remember doing in the beginning.  Also, there are so many people here with so many different experiences that can help you.   They did me!!  It is a doable process but it takes time and a committment to yourself.  You can do anything you put your mind to!  Stay strong and confident!  and welcome to the EX!

Marlene_mlpepsi517 984 days ago


Megan, I totally get what you are saying about it being hard to quit nicotine.....but here's the thing....the longer we do ANYTHING the harder it is to quit.        And your addiction is no harder/tougher/stronger/intense (get the idea?) than anyone else here.

I feel as though I am not smoking enough for it to be as bad for me as someone who somkes more than a pack a day. I havent been smoking for that long either, I started like 6 years ago. Which is a long time I guess, but not since I was 9 or 13 like some people I know. So because of these thoughts, I think whats the harm?

At what point does it become dangerous?     10 years?    20 years?        We don't know.     If you are carrying the cancer cell which puff will trigger it to grow?       If you are prone to colds, pneumonia, etc will you be more apt to get COPD?

I don't know these answers.      I DO KNOW that all smoking is bad.....for you and for those around you.

You need to decide you want to be quit!      You need to do the homework and recognize that YOU, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HERE, ARE AN ADDICT!

You need to do the reading, make your lists, get prepared, do the reading.    It is not enough to put on your white knuckles and say "ok I quit, but I'm going to drink and I'm going to hang out with my drinking friends".

Can't do it.

What do you want?        If it is quit then GET SERIOUS AND DO THE WORK!

Everyone here will help but none of us can do it for you.

I'd smoked for 44 years....at this point I do NOT have COPD or cancer.....I pray that will stay that way.    And I will do my part by NOT SMOKING!

Tell us what you are willing to do.

Sharon 282 DOF!

smorgy8513 984 days ago

You should quit while your still young and don't have health problems lots of people on here will tell you why they quit copd, heart problem the list goes on real people real stories I know John said I don't suggest getting copd before quitting its much scarier to keep smoking than to quit it's very doable just takes some time what's a few months of light struggle to many many years of health OY VAY 

GreenThumb3 984 days ago

Unfortunately you are an addict. Your drug of choice is nicotine. It has nothing to do with how long or how many you smoked.

You need to change how you look at cigarettes and understand more about your reasons for smoking.

Read as much as you can about how to stop smoking. In fact, reading was what helped me to stop.

We can't keep you from smoking so it is up to you to make your mind up to not smoke.

Promise_Judy621_8-28-13 984 days ago

No one wants to smoke.. it is an illusion!

Of all the people on here who have successfully quit.. not one has said that they are missing out on anything..in fact they no live much fuller lives without smoking.

When do you want your fuller life to begin.. now or some vague date in the future when who knows what you have done to your health?



indnprincess 984 days ago

We are addicted to nicotine, so in order to stop smoking you must not let them near your face! Know what your triggers are and stay away from those triggers. You CAN quit, many of us have. I was a pack a day, 40 year smoker. Today is 238 days since I quit.

If I CAN, you CAN. 

Moody_9-18-13 984 days ago

take this great advice  , . you can do this make up your mind and be strong.

lois2 984 days ago

Can you find a stop smoking group near you.  In PA many hospitals sponsor the program free as part of a law suit against tobacco companies.   

You are in the denial stage... which is normal.  The more you understand how nicotine addiction works and the consequences the better prepared you will be. It is difficult to quit... but not impossible and not the worse experience... no pain... just craves which if you wait them out will go away. 

The decision is one only you can make and might I suggest you prepare.  Understand that you will have to change your life a little bit if you really, really want to quit.  Drinking is a trigger.. so plan not to drink. Understand your other triggers and make a plan how you are going to deal with them.  Know that the journey is long and decide that you are in this for the long haul.  Understand that you cannot smoke even one puff.... EVER.

If you are convinced that you are a "casual smoker"  answer to yourself why it is so difficult to stop.  Sorry, you are just like all of us... addicted to nicotine and have to prepare and follow your plan if you are to quit.  You can do this.  

linda258 983 days ago

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