Good morning! First off I want to Thank everyone for all the inspiration and support I needed to be able to stay on track. I couldn't have done it without you. 100 SMOKE FREE days are now behind me. I won't say it's been easy cuz it hasn't and some days I still really struggle but the nicotine demon isn't going to win. There were times the nicotine demon had me thinking about why am I denying myself the one thing I know would take the strong craving away. Maybe one would taste bad and I'd quit wanting one. The list goes on. You have all given me enough information to know that is all really stupid thinking and it's the addiction trying to wear me out. I did not gain this weight and go through this struggle to start over. This is going to be my forever quit!
My co-worker who started out strong lost out to self justification which worried me as I had lots of those thoughts myself. I felt bad for her as she has gained 30 lbs in 4 months and to be honest I probably would have gone back to smoking if I had that much weight gain. She had an easy time quitting for the first 6 to 8 weeks then something changed. She was feeling really bad and embarrassed that she lost her quit. I told her she just needs to get back on the horse. She had used patches. I had 23 in a box still left since I decided not to use them and just go cold turkey so I brought them into work and put them on her desk and said set your date as you only are a failure if you quit trying. I said I'll donate to the cause. She said she wants to be a non-smoker and will be starting her journey soon. I had given her the info for this site but she never took the time to use it. It is all the information on this site that has kept me smoke free. We've had 2 deaths in the family this month and both times I could have lost my quit if I didn't know what you have all taught me. I stood by my brother-in-law yesterday at the visitation and smelled the smoke from his cigarette. I was hoping it would smell bad as it was the first time I was next to someone smoking since I quit. It smelled good and for a moment I thought just one drag would be so good. Then the word NOPE came into my head and I walked away instead feeling good about my decision. You could see smokers trying to find ways to escape the funeral home without others seeing to go get their fix and I was so glad I wasn't dealing with that. It was also great knowing I could hug someone and know I didn't stink of smoke. I always thought I had a good sence of smell but it has gotten so much better since I quit. If someone walks in who just had a smoke I can barely believe how bad they stink. I never want to be that person again. I'm trying to figure out how outside smoking my brother-in-laws smoking wasn't offensive but once he walked inside the smell was really bad.
I am very happy to have 100 days behind me but I wish I felt thrilled to be a non-smoker. I talked to an old friend last week who said I'll get there. She told me she was miserable for the first 2 years quitting and was always jealous of smokers. She said she woke up one day and could honestly say she was happy to be a non-smoker. She doesn't know what caused that to happen but it did. I remember the first year she was in tears a lot. I told her if she can do it then I will just copy her and wait for my day to come. She has lost the weight she had gained and lots more and looked great. She used to work where I did and moved about 8 months ago. I couldn't believe how she had transformed. She looked happy and was in better shape then she ever has been in. That just reinforced everything I learned here.
To anyone just starting their quit my advice is to read everything that is available here. If I can quit smoking anyone can quit. Learn all you can - set your date and join the Non-Smoker's Club. It will be the best thing that can happen to your health and pocketbook!!!
Day 101 is off to a good start. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!!
