Wow, woke up then drove to pick -up my daughter from school bad bad bad, on the way passed a van going 45 in a 55 zone he didn't like that and proceeded to ride my @##, when he had the chance he passed me and then slowed down again, normally this doesn't bother me I usually just smile and wave but I was running late and now wanted a cig, good thing i didn't have any after the light the same process was repeated and now I am frustrated and getting really pissed, however I crank the radio set the cruse control and let him play his game whatever that is. I pick up my daughter school and we go get a coffee so we can chat and I can calm down, which works and we head home. you ever have one of those days where anything and everything goes wrong especially when the Nicodemon is waiting on you, well on the way home for some reason I got behind you know who and I didn't want to play leap frog with this guy again but when he hit 40 I passed him and yep you guessed it mad dog got on the pedal again got around me and slowed down! what causes people to act like that anyway? so I just stayed behind and before you know it I slowing down again but this time the guy that passed me is upset and shaking his fist because with his stupid road rage we got behind a school bus dropping off kids after school yea I laught. so anyway I finally get home and I still needed to make supper and I could not find all my ingredients right away and then because I was running late I thought I would start to multitask and being a male that never turns out good as I started to burn the veggies as the heat was turned up to high and the water started boiling over at the same time as I had my hands full with dishes the cats are meowing as they want to be feed I still need to get ready for work as I work nights, I started thinking about the guy who keep playing leap frog and I started to get angry and was overcome with all kinds of emotions yelling and screaming at myself my daughters retreated to their rooms and I wanted to just break something or pound my fist into the walls I found myself in a rage and thought what the hell is wrong with me and I started to wonder about my day, so I went to talk to my daughter about the afternoons events and she told me "Dad, you been upset ever since you picked me up from school" then it dawned on me I was the a-hole who was drive aggressively, at coffee apparently I hardly talked to my daughter I was talking to myself and I had put everything on the counter for supper before I left to pick up my daughter but was looking in the fridg and in the cabinets and blaming everyone else because I couldn't find anything and then I realized that I was having a nicotine fit ever since I got up and I then created everything this everyone is out to get me today attitude. I then finished dinner cleaned up the kitchen ate by myself and then had the girls eat I gave them a hug told them that I loved them and went to work. All I can say at this moment is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Nicotine cravings suck and I did it to myself, I beat alcoholism and I'll beat this addiction too.
