90 Days

[elvan]

  There is NO WAY that I could have come this far without each one of you reaching out to welcome me and advise me along the way.  I am partway through No Man's Land and have had some craves that would have astonished me had I not been prepared by all of you.  I have found that now I cry, something I have not done in years.  I think I have learned that all of the emotions I "stuffed" into myself with the nicotine, are just coming out with more intensity.  They were always there, I just kept them inside.  Who knows, maybe, just maybe, SOME of the pain will let up as the stress is released.  I am well aware of how closely connected stress is to R.A. Fact is, even if it doesn't let up, I KNOW that smoking will do nothing good for me.  It can only hurt me and stunt my emotional growth.  I think 47 years of stunted growth is quite enough.

  To all of you here, each and every one of you, I say thank you and I send you my absolute warmest thoughts...these days they are pretty intense. I send gentle hugs because I can't, physically, send or receive strong ones.  Ellen