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Share your quitting journey

24 hour long roller coaster ride!

smorgy8513
Member
0 19 13
‎02-21-2014 08:55 AM

I don't like roller coasters, at least not the big, tall, sharp turns, deep plunge ones.   (The Dr Seuss one at Islands of Adventure suited me fine!)

This last 24 hours has felt like a ride like I haven't had for a long time in my quit journey.

First, the weather.   We had 11" of snow in the last 14 hours and now the temp is dropping and the wind is picking up.       They've plowed several times but drifts keep blowing back over the driveway getting out of the garage.     And TV stations are saying that "travel is not recommended"!        So glad that I don't have to drive in to work today!      Temps will be falling over the next few days until we are back below zero again for at least a week long stretch!          I honestly don't know how much more of this winter I can take.......now flights are cancelled or delayed so even if I had somewhere to go I couldn't get out!

My Kali Kitty seems to be doing ok but not sure how much she is actually able to urinate (I have 2 cats so have to really watch and "catch" to see how much she is going).        I have vet phone number written down, I will have to take her to a new one that is closer as our regular one is 20+ miles away and I know I can't drive there today.        

NOW.......let me say this on a VERY POSITIVE NOTE!!!!!!

Today is my 200th day of being smoke free!         I didn't think when I started this back on 8-5-13 that I would be celebrating this.       I know I keep saying that as I mark each one of my milestones......maybe it will change and some day I will say "I knew I could do this"......but I doubt it.      

It just goes to show that with the right education, encouragement and commitment to not smoke no matter how steep these roller coaster plunges are......it is possible.

Thank you to all of you that have told me "you can do this", to all of you that showed me love, to all that encouraged me when I "rode the rails" of the stay-quit-coaster.......and I can say with all honesty and truth that I love each and every one of you who have been there for me.           Tommy said to keep up with the Collateral Kindness while he is on vacation and I have to say I see it every single day here in one way, shape or form.

Will there be more of the roller coaster ride?     Of course there will be.     But, I can remember that I rode this before, I didn't fall out of the car or go off the rails........

So, here is me holding my cup of hazelnut flavored coffee and toasting to the next 200!!!!

Sharon

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About the Author
Gone but Not Forgotten. RIP I've thought so many times about quitting, done a few quits with the longest being 9 months. Blamed that relapse on my sister because she broke her hip. This time I feel different 8/5/13:The first day of my forever quit. About me? Well, I'm old enough that I am going to semi-retire (work 2 days per week) starting in October, 2013. I have 2 grown sons, 2 older sisters, 2 cats. I'm passionate about my work, love mystery books. I give all the glory for my work, any successes I may have to God and prayer. I have a lot of people praying for me right now and that is where I feel the strength. I also am finding strength, information and support from this site. I hope I can offer some of that to others when I get past the newbie stage. 9/4/13 30 days today!! I've learned so much since I've been coming here each morning (and sometimes at night). Words: choose, not try-----decision----not giving anything up, but gaining---I'm worth so much more than a cigarette. These are only a few of the pearls of wisdom that I've taken to heart. So many great people. I learn something each and every time I come on here. I'm learning about myself too. I teach clients everyday that feelings are feelings and ok to have, but I've always fought that concept myself. I heard when I was little "what have you got to cry about?" so I learned not to cry. If anger was shown it meant going back and shutting the door 10 times quietly or maybe getting the wrath of my parent. So, I learned not to cry, not to feel anger. I'm learning now that I have those feelings and that smoking pushed them aside and down. They are there and real. Now I'm trying to learn how to show and express them instead of going off by myself for a smoke. I have supporters. The biggest pride is what I feel in myself. With each day I wake up I can say "Today is day ____" and I feel proud. Not the kind of pride like I could never fail. That is a realization and why I need to be aware and conscious each moment. No, smoking doesn't solve anything. And today I am proof that I can go on without the crutch of a cigarette! 8/5/17 4 Years Quit!!! Who would have "thunk" it? I never took responsibility for my relapses, always blamed whatever it was that occurred. So, when I quit on 8/5/13 I knew I REALLY wanted it to work, knew that I needed as much support as I could get but I think deep down I was afraid this one wouldn't take either. So, I did as much positive as I could: Chantix, prayer, atomic fire balls, telling friends AND coming to the EX many times throughout the day. The people here became my friends as well as my family. I could share when I was struggling and get encouragement. Have there been struggles in my life since then that would have "caused" me to smoke in the past? Of course! Life goes on and troubles happen even when you don't smoke. I lost my sister who was also my best friend, my diagnosis of lung cancer and the treatment that has gone on since then (dr tells me "not curable, but treatable"). Would smoking make any of those things better? OF COURSE NOT! But when you're an addict the brain tells tons of lies to you..... Newbies: use the resources that the EX provides to you and you will have major milestones too. I thank my family here and love each and every one of you that have helped me! Too many names to mention.