I've got 31 smoke free days behind me and I'm happy to be where I am at. I took off the patch over a week ago and happy to say I won that battle. On day 3 I almost broke down but didn't. Figured being Smoke Free and Nicotine Free was where I needed to be. Some things worth having aren't always easy to get but they are worth the work. FREEDOM!!! You can't put a price on that. Last week I was talking to my best friend. She asked me how things were going. I told her I didn't know getting healthy would feel so miserable. I said I am now a water logged baluga whale with a hemoroid from pooping rocks. I can't fit into my favorite jeans and many of my favorite foods now taste like crap. I told her my patience level has gone way down and I'm thinking I need a new job. I said my husband irritates the hell out of me this month and I've restarted biting my fingernails again. I'm feeling pretty worn out fightng the battle. Lots of things really stink now and I'm depressed but hey my clothes smell good and I'm saving money. We laughed about it but then got serious. I know some of the things will all work out eventually and I'm just going to hang in there. Figured a sence of humor is really needed right now.
I know the digestive system and taste buds can take awhile to all adjust to a smoke free life. Once it is warmer out I'm going to take up walking so that will help a lot. The depression has been difficult to deal with but I decided it is just a process of going through the loss. Quitting smoking is a very GOOD loss but nevertheless it is no longer in my life so it is a loss. I have lots of good hours in my day right now but I continue to struggle big time on my lunch hour and right after work. I get really crazy feeling at those times and the cravings are so intense. One night after a really crappy day at work I went to go get some groceries but the urge to buy a pack was pretty strong so I turned the car around and went home instead. Figured it was best not to even go into the store. I told myself I've come too far to start over. It is a bit scary when the temptation feels so strong.
I love not having my clothes smell like stinky smoke. I love not having to stand outside and freeze. I love not being treated like a leper. I love not spending money on a bad addiction. I love not driving with the window down (no more getting cold or wet) I am starting to appreciate the good things that are coming my way.
Hope you all have a wonderful Smoke Free Sunday!!!
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