Bet you thought you lost me ...or maybe some hoped they had lost me , lol
but I'm still here !!!
Since my last posting things got VERY difficult here . my husband decided to go through one of his melt downs and of course I got to be the recipeant of this wonderful meltdown.
I've been screamed at yelled at threatened ..you name it ...and I held tight but not without the emotional pain that goes with being treated that way . I came SOOOOOOOOOOO Close to booting his butt out ...and there were thoughts of "why do I bother _____" (fill in the blank)
So what got me through? well .....more than ever I am sure nicotine does some crazy shit to the chemistry of the brain .....He quit smoking. Today he is day 9 cold turkey...and yes I truly believe it is some form of tempary insanity. He has talked to me like this before but also knows he had been told I wouldn't tolerate it anymore and such behavior would end is butt on the outside looking in and at one point here about a week ago I had to remind him of that particular fact on a REALLY bad day/episode.
But through it all I made it ..day 41 and counting . don't ask me how because some days I really don't know how I didn't resort to the local bar with a pack of smokes just for a break! But I didn't
January's are always bad around here anyways ...Too much inside time ..not enough daily light ...too much time listening to the furnace run and "cha-ching" money being burned in another way! ..post holiday let down , the doom the gloom the SAD...and all that goes with it January just usually sucks but this one I would say rated in the top 5 of the last 25.
Tomorrow is a new month ..i survived another January and did it without smoking!!!!
Oh and on another piece of good news. Yesterday my youngest son ...the one that has given us a run for our money for a couple of years....turned 18!!! He has been informed the rules change now. I am no longer obilgated by law to tolerate his shit either. I am no longer obligated by law to provide a roof over his head and food in his belly ...so either he starts following the house rules or find a new place to live!! I no longer have to be afraid of the other shoe dropping with him either , He's on borrowed time ...and failing out of high school simply because he is lazy and won't do his homework while dealing with his threats , name calling and constant fear of bodily harm from him... law enforcment does nothing in these situations when they are under 18 . removes them from the home for a few hours , then returns them telling you , you have to take them because they are a minor and are obligated by law to provide for them until they are 18 regardless of what buttheads they are ...they can runaway but you can't boot them out. Seriously!
So yippeeeee . after about 2 yrs of hell with him, the tables turned in our favor again yesterday.... gee I wonder where he gets his tude ...no issue of paternity there , lol ...or is that...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree .. either way . I'm ok ....and bring on February and Spring !!!
