I don't mean the network.
I mean my brain.
I remember reading on a medical website (which I highly recommend over WikiAnswers or Yahoo!) that when you stop smoking, oxygen reaches the brain and all sorts of good stuff starts to happen. That's what I read. What I feel is that ALL oxygen has LEFT the brain and someone planted a crop of potatoes where there used to be good, old-fashioned O.
The result? CRS Syndrome, or less eloquently stated, Can't Remember Shit Syndrome.
It isn't contagious but everyone around you will know you have it.
I recommend the following to anyone in the early stages of CRS Syndrome.
DO NOT:
1. Answer the phone;
2. Sign any contracts;
3. Operate any machinery (including dishwashers, television remote controllers, electric toothbrushes, stoves, microwave ovens, automobiles, GPS devices);
4. Mix chemicals, including but not limited to bleach, water, laundry detergent, Cascade (which, by refraining from dishwasher operation, will not be an issue), and anything with a label that says WARNING on it;
5. Cook;
6. Post anything on any social media websites where an employer, mother-in-law, or spouse may be reading.
DO:
1. Hide under the covers and have someone you trust set your television station to TNT or LMN. You will see plenty of reruns but you will not remember having watched them so Road to Perdition will be just as good as it was the first time;
2. Check your shoes, your socks, and make sure they match. There have been documented cases of mismatches due to CRSS.
3. Remember who you married, and rehearse the name often. This is one you really want to make sure you work on.
4. Trust that this won't last forever, and in another few days, you'll have gas to deal with instead.
