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Share your quitting journey

Step into the light!

smorgy8513
Member
0 18 137
  12/13/13
  I knew I wanted to quit.    But I knew I had tried several times and failed and didn’t want that to happen again.   So, I re-found this site (had come here before but wasn’t ready to commit).     “This time---this time I’ll do it right” is what I told myself.    So, I listened to what the people who had some time said in their blogs.   I listened to those that sounded confident (NOT COCKY) and followed their advice.    “Don’t use negative words”, “Believe in yourself”, “Want this more than you want anything else today”, “Keep them away from your face”.     
  I got through Hell Week with no scars, Heck Week had a couple of rougher days than Hell Week but made it through that too.     Then, oh no……the dreaded NO MANS LAND!     Now I began to fear.   “You won’t have the same Atta Girls that you had at the beginning” (true), “You may feel confident and secure in your quit but craves will blindside you” (true), “Stay alert, awake and on guard” (true), “You’ll get through it”.  I HAVE!!!    I am at the end of NML.
  I know that I still have to watch what I’m doing, I know I can’t take my smoke free days for granted, I know that some days I’m more fragile than others.    I read and LISTENED to Giulia’s blog yesterday.  Quit Maintenance.    She is 1 of the Elders that I believe and believe in.    I would like to list everyone here that has “been there” for me but that would be impossible.     I have met and connected with many people here and made some good friends.     
  Look, there are some of my friends waiting for me just over the line….I see their hands stretched out to pull me into the light!!!
  My next goal:     On 2/5/14 I will have 6 months smoke free!!!!    On 2/7/14 I will get on the big bird and fly to Orlando where I will get to meet some of you, put a face with a name, get hugs and also (Tommy promised) some Krispy Kremes!
  I couldn’t have done this without so many of you!
  Love you,     Sharon     130 days of Freedom!
   
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18 Comments
About the Author
Gone but Not Forgotten. RIP I've thought so many times about quitting, done a few quits with the longest being 9 months. Blamed that relapse on my sister because she broke her hip. This time I feel different 8/5/13:The first day of my forever quit. About me? Well, I'm old enough that I am going to semi-retire (work 2 days per week) starting in October, 2013. I have 2 grown sons, 2 older sisters, 2 cats. I'm passionate about my work, love mystery books. I give all the glory for my work, any successes I may have to God and prayer. I have a lot of people praying for me right now and that is where I feel the strength. I also am finding strength, information and support from this site. I hope I can offer some of that to others when I get past the newbie stage. 9/4/13 30 days today!! I've learned so much since I've been coming here each morning (and sometimes at night). Words: choose, not try-----decision----not giving anything up, but gaining---I'm worth so much more than a cigarette. These are only a few of the pearls of wisdom that I've taken to heart. So many great people. I learn something each and every time I come on here. I'm learning about myself too. I teach clients everyday that feelings are feelings and ok to have, but I've always fought that concept myself. I heard when I was little "what have you got to cry about?" so I learned not to cry. If anger was shown it meant going back and shutting the door 10 times quietly or maybe getting the wrath of my parent. So, I learned not to cry, not to feel anger. I'm learning now that I have those feelings and that smoking pushed them aside and down. They are there and real. Now I'm trying to learn how to show and express them instead of going off by myself for a smoke. I have supporters. The biggest pride is what I feel in myself. With each day I wake up I can say "Today is day ____" and I feel proud. Not the kind of pride like I could never fail. That is a realization and why I need to be aware and conscious each moment. No, smoking doesn't solve anything. And today I am proof that I can go on without the crutch of a cigarette! 8/5/17 4 Years Quit!!! Who would have "thunk" it? I never took responsibility for my relapses, always blamed whatever it was that occurred. So, when I quit on 8/5/13 I knew I REALLY wanted it to work, knew that I needed as much support as I could get but I think deep down I was afraid this one wouldn't take either. So, I did as much positive as I could: Chantix, prayer, atomic fire balls, telling friends AND coming to the EX many times throughout the day. The people here became my friends as well as my family. I could share when I was struggling and get encouragement. Have there been struggles in my life since then that would have "caused" me to smoke in the past? Of course! Life goes on and troubles happen even when you don't smoke. I lost my sister who was also my best friend, my diagnosis of lung cancer and the treatment that has gone on since then (dr tells me "not curable, but treatable"). Would smoking make any of those things better? OF COURSE NOT! But when you're an addict the brain tells tons of lies to you..... Newbies: use the resources that the EX provides to you and you will have major milestones too. I thank my family here and love each and every one of you that have helped me! Too many names to mention.