It's the changing of the seasons again. My heart is heavy around this time of year; although Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons. It must be something with the darkness and the cold. It makes me nostalgic.
With nostalgia comes happiness and sadness. With emotion comes stress. I was wondering what my first bout of depression would be like without cigarettes.
Turns out, its just like the rest of my life without cigarettes. Just fine. I can handle it.
And once I came through it, I was so glad I didn't cave in! Because I'm not having cravings. No, the thought of having a cigarette is not appealing to me at all. It's the romancing. Its that relationship I thought we had. It's how I thought it was helping me through. It's all those lies that are interlaced with the good memories and good times that went along with them that makes me think they went hand in hand. Like an old boyfriend and a good memory when you are feeling lonely.
Luckily you snap out of it before you make the most stupid call of your life, or send an email, or leave a message.
I didn't even have to smell a cigarette to know that it wouldn't be the answer.
So now I'm looking forward to taking my new normal, and my new self into the future - without any of the old baggage, nasty habits or low self esteem...just to see what happens :)
Today is day 73...still wandering in No Man's Land
But I know I've got lots of company - a lot of people quit around the same time I did and are still successful. It makes me proud to be hanging out with all of you here.
Wow Kat you sound awesome friend!
You are going through the 'seasonal' trigger, NML and even though we love to put labels on everything and DEFINE and analyze...Bottom line is...we just don't smoke and learn our 'new normal' on the fly...
And it is lovely! xo
joyeuxencore_11-5-12 1151 days ago
You're doing great Kat!
Its all learning to dance in the rain, watch for that beautiful rainbow that will come.
ShawnP 1151 days ago
You are doing Great :)
Sherry 1151 days ago
Great Attitude Kat!!! I'm wondering around in NML too 89 days!!
Magstoyou 1151 days ago
Great job Kat....I'm right behind you with 70 days. We are doing this!!! I love hearing about how the new normal looks. I agree with you, I have little in the craves department but the romancing comes here and there. Great analogy with the old boyfriend, resist with everything you have in calling him......do the same with the "great cigarette of old". There is a reason we are not with HIM and a great reason we are not with IT either.
Have a great day!
smorgy8513 1151 days ago
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