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May 8, 2013 Comments (13)

View freedom-38's Blog


 So today while I was happily planting annuals at one of my commercial sites I spotted a smoke on the ground.

A whole un-smoked smoke. Omg. I couldn't believe what happened in my brain.

The first thought was from my addict self: Oooh you could pick up the smoke and just smoke it, it would be so fun. 

What the?!?! 

That thought lasted about 10 seconds until a great big smile appeared on my face because I remembered that I was free from that behaviour.

But still. Whoa.

Gotta stay on guard all the time!!

I'm pretty sure I'm outta NML tomorrow!!!!!

Comments (13)

Hooray!!! Congrats on leaving NML, and not even being sure of it! We do always have to keep our guard up. I guess that's what NEF means...we move on and come to a certain point where we don't think about it anymore, but occasionally, those times happen, I guess. Big hugs to you, dear friend!!!

Brenda_M 1354 days ago

Way to go! Quite the "test" and you passed of course! Congrats on leaving NML!

Michwoman 1354 days ago

The same thing happened to me a few weeks back...I found a pack in my truck with one in it......I couldnt believe I was thinking about smokling it............I held it and stared at it...then ripped it to shreds........you did good....I'm very proud of you

johio 1354 days ago

Hi Freedom, WTG on protecting your quit! I believe things like that are a reminder that we are not far off the addiction trail after all. No matter how short ot long of a quit we have, we must always be on our toes. I also think that the longer we are non-smokers the better it gets with the actions we take against smoking. Maybe I should say, this is our new normal, and I am loving it. Have a beautiful day.

jojo_2-24-11 1354 days ago

One of those moments when you gotta' be glad NOPE is in the back of your head and helping you smile! You got this girl, just keep making the right choices!

Nyima_1.6.13 1354 days ago

Am glad you didnt give in! !  i don't think those things just appear out of nowhere. Someone is lurking trying to tempt us. ;) We are firmly standing our ground TOGETHER!!

ShawnP 1354 days ago

Great job -- your inner junkie poked her head out of her hole, you looked her in the eye and said NOPE!  You just found your Forever Quit! 


SarahP 1354 days ago

You have trained that brain well my friend!!! I sure wish you could hop a plane to Vegas and room with skygirl & me!!! xo

joyeuxencore_11-5-12 1354 days ago

A great big smile appeared on my face as I read your blog!! Way to go! 

Strudel 1353 days ago

Thanks everyone.

Geez Joe, that is scary finding a smoke. The other day my boyfriend and I went to the park to lay on the grass and when I took the blanket out of the big bag an old (empty) pack of smokes fell out.

Wow. The feeling that surged through me was awful. It was total panic and fear mixed with this sense of excitement and my heart started racing. It was almost nostalgic seeing my old pack, my old brand my old friend. I cant imagine if I had found one in there. I even said so to Chris. I wouldn't have smoked it but it would have been so hard!!

I guess I was tested a couple of days later (as Shawn pointed out) Umm.. I think I passed.


freedom-38 1353 days ago

The tests never do stop but our reactions are getting stronger. There will never again be an excuse to have just one because we have NOPE to reassure us. Well done Freedom

Danno_11-10-12 1353 days ago

Wow!!!  GREAT job protecting your quit!!!  

Its amazing how fast our addicted selves show up. But you didnt' even give that addict a minute to take hold!!!  Kudos to do you for such a strong commitment to your quit!!  

We have to stay on guard, because if we give that addict even a moment to take hold, the urge and the foolish thoughts will get stronger..... Forever Diligent!!!  And, as Brenda said, NEF... We can never forget how much work we've put into our quits!  Thank you for sharing, my friend, so I know that I'm not the only one who has "Whoa" moments!

Your Friend, 

~Jordan~   11/1/12

Jordan.Quit.11-1-12 1353 days ago

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