Good morning everyone!
Thinkin’ about the last couple days and wanted to share it…The Thanksgiving altercation was with my God-Child who is 24, just married and really is doing so well in life but having never had an addiction (thank God) or able to talk about her feelings (not so great) had held something inside since she was 14 and blind sided me with it…I realize that I started smoking again years ago when I moved close to my family again and whenever there is a difficult moment I would go out and smoke…This time I got to sit in my uncomfortable feelings…own my part in her anger and disappointment…get through the evening without further episode and after a cooling off day contact her with an apology for what she was still upset about YEARS later and she apologized back for bringing it up inappropriately on a holiday. Because I’m not smoking I got to clear up an old hurt. I remember a quote I love (I have a serious addiction to quotes that I am going to keep) “There is no holier spot on earth than where an ancient hatred becomes a present love’…My big lesson in all of this besides of course how great it is not to be smoking so I can be present in my own life but also just because it feels bad doesn’t always mean it is…
Today I am going to take Lucy and walk to my sister’s house (quite a hike) & watch a movie…All of you are cleaning, taking out decorations & doing some much stuff and I am a slug so today I am forcing myself to get out in the world and breathe deeply!!!
Thank you all for your help & comments…xo
