I want to make a quick statement.......without the drama, personal attacks or any negative comments about anyone. I belong to a support group where they excersized "tough love"....honestly, not my style but for those people who want their "excuse to be excused"...this may be the kick in the butt they need....some people (even in here) ASK for it because they know they dont have the strength.
I am a strong woman with a strong personality and I have attempted to quit several times but made so many excuses for my failed attempts...until I finally got it!! This support group that I came from... we are all different ( I dont like everyone there) but we all have a different way. Like we do in life...we will attract different types of people who are looking for support...I dont always agree with some styles but again...who cares. This support group along with reading Allen Carrs book saved my life....we have known one another for years...it is like a family. In this family was both Bob and Ray....both known for their NO EXCUSES TOUGH LOVE methods. We dont always like everyone in our family...and sometimes we dont always get along.
A few of us would like to extend our support to people who are struggling with their quits so we can "pay it forward" ....we are here to help...not create chaos and drama...we have people in here early in their quits...why make them more intense...lets please stop this.
Both Ray and Bob are my friends....they are good people and want you to succeed in your quits. Ray is not a freak or whatever name someone wants to call him...he doesnt harrass women...he has always been very respectful to them. I too wondered why he needed more identities because hes never done that before...it was because of a post that was on his page...I have copied and pasted. Not to start WWIII....just to explain.
Recently people have asked for tough love but then complain about it somewhere else...Ive copied and posted an example of that as well. When I first quit I would slip after 2 weeks...and didnt want to start my counter over because I made excuses.."Well I was quit for 2 weeks...Ill just subtract 5 minutes due to temporary insanity"
EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES!!! You can tell yourself whatever you want to make you feel better.
I just wanted to say this to you guys...Ray is a good person with a good heart. Like we do in our real lives...if you dont like him or anyone...dont hang out with them.
Again, this is a peaceful statement!! 🙂
Here are the posts I was referring to;
At 2:24pm on May 24th, 2008, Danielle said…
I read your story. I understand now why you choose TL.
I hide from it because as a child it was abuse,
but labeled as "toughlove".
It frightens me still.
I love my Lord from the deepest parts of me, and
your story made me cry.
I hope that at some point we can speak as
Danielle and Bobby.
Manofsteele scares the crap out of me.
I apologise for it all........
Really, I do.
Danielle.
At 1:57pm on May 26th, 2008, Kris said…
oh, ray, i slipped, and had two. i didn't buy a pack, i bummed from a neighbor. you officially have my permission to kick my booty. i'm doing a pretty good job of it, myself--but at least i know the trigger. things with my family got worse, and i just lost it. all i can do is move on from here...but i wanted to be honest.
At 10:36am on May 26th, 2008, Kris said…
Hey, I need some tough love right now, Ray....I'm about to hit the page...but I'm really pissed about a family issue and am trying to find another way to cope, but it's like I can just taste the damn cigarette you know?? I'm 3 days, 20 hours, and 16 minutes quit....
