Day 2, over 32 hours smoke free........ I'm moving so slow and late for everything. My mind's not focusing but the worse is that I got into a screaming match with my 9 yr old and both of us got so angry and I shouted in anger that if I started smoking again, it will be his fault.......... Oh man, is that child abuse or what? You can't blame a little kid, I feel so upset with myself and so guilty. What if I start smoking and he grows up thinking it's his fault?? Dang, now I know I can't start smoking because I'll scar him for life, even if he doesn't remember it, I will!!! I hugged and kissed him extra this morning before he left for school but I'm telling you, I was plain mean to him this morning. No excuse, please tell me this won't last. I can't trade not smoking for being nasty to my kids....... I hardly spoke to my hubby last night and my oldest daughter called after 11 PM, she got into with her hubby and was driving to get get smokes, I know this would seem normal if I was still smoking but nothing seems normal to me now.
