Okay, today - not as bad as yesterday, but still not as easy as the first couple days. I think today was easier cuz I had work to distract me. I was VERY tempted on the way to and from work to buy cigarettes, especially with my husband begging me. But I DIDN'T. I even thought "I could buy him some and have just one". But I know that never works. If I have just one then the previous 4 days would have been for nothing and it would be like starting all over again.
My husband is not happy because I refuse to buy him any. We live so far away from town, he can't just go and get them himself. He's not ready to quit - so it's difficult. He understands and wants to support me, but he's struggling with withdrawls and making it harder because he refuses to put on a patch or use anything to help. I can't force him to quit, so for the meantime, he'll continue bumbing from his brother and smoking butts.
I feel good every day that I keep up the fight, but I do wonder with him, how long I can do it. I worked out today for my 30 min and will do that probably 4 times this week. I need to because with all the extra candy, I've gained 3 pounds. Once I can get the habbit kicked, I can start slowing down on the candy and not have to use it as a crutch so much, then I'll work harder on eating better to loose weight. One thing at a time. My hope is that by sucuessfully quiting smoking, I can look at the lap band procedure which I've considered for a few years now. You have to quit smoking for those kind of things though. I figured I would work on the smoking first since it is harder. If I can quit smoking, I KNOW I can loose weight. Hell, I might even be able to fit into a bikini again someday LMAO!
Anyways, that's it for today. Cravings not as bad as yesterday, but will power feels like it might be starting to fade. Got some more blow pops though, so I should be good to go for a few more days. "One day at a time, sweet Jesus!"
