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Balancing The Voices

Storm.3.1.14
Member
0 10 10
  Take a moment now to think back on the last few years of your active smoking lifestyle, those couple of years leading up to your quit…
   
  Remember how embarrassed you felt when passersby scowled at your smoking in public?
   
  Remember how uneasy you felt when the sickly and frail lady on the TV   directly begged you to quit smoking…and you went outside to smoke, to soothe your shame?
   
  Remember those times when you inhaled deeply on that cigarette, and you swore you could almost   feel the inky tar and poisons clogging up your throat?
   
  Yeah, I remember, too.
   
  Let me introduce you to a psychological phenomenon called   cognitive dissonance. That’s a big sciency concept that, for our purposes here, we’ll translate to mean “  bad noises inside your mind”.
   
  Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who struggles with two (or more) contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same. 
   
   
   “Cigarettes killed Aunt Bessie, but I‘ll be lucky.”
   
   “My kids hate it when I smoke, so I‘ll whip them good if they ever start.”
   
   “Cigarettes are bad, but not as terrible as ___________.”
   
   “I know cigarettes are poisonous, but I‘m too _______ to quit.”
   
   
  This is the classic “battle inside your head” that keeps you agitated and frustrated, fearful and fretful, unsettled and scared. When we were smokers, we were constantly trying to weigh the unknown against the proven. Bargain, compromise, sacrifice, wheelin’, dealin’.
   
  That’s no way to live in peace. Cognitive dissonance is a very real and very important reason why smoking stressed us out so dang bad! Always hagglin’ with the truth of our mistakes.
   
  Now, watch this…
   
  We know that when our beliefs (  cigarettes are poison) get out of whack with our actions (  I’ll smoke a cigarette), we experience a lopsided inconsistency, and we tend to become psychologically uncomfortable. Well, the theory of cognitive dissonance, fortunately, states that   it’s human nature to strive for internal consistency. We really would prefer to be comfortable with our thoughts and actions, and we humans often get motivated to reduce any imbalance by actively avoiding situations and information and behaviors that wobble the scales.
   
  Did you catch that? We humans are designed to   fix the internal conflict that’s warping our beliefs with backwards actions. How about that  : We are designed to quit!!!
   
  So, what’s the solution? What’s the opposite of “the bad noises inside our mind”?
   
  The answer is   cognitive consonance, and that translates into “  good voices inside your mind”.
   
  Cognitive consonance sounds like this…
   
   
   “Cigarettes are toxic, so I will not poison myself today.”
   
   “Cigarettes killed Aunt Bessie, and I don’t want the same fate for myself.”
   
   “My kids hate it when I smoke; I gotta love my kids more than tobacco.”
   
   “I promised my Quit Buddy I wouldn’t smoke for the next 30 days, and I want to feel the pride and strength of honoring my word.”
   
   
  See how that works? 
   
  Cognitive consonance is, basically, finally reaching a stage in life where you   believe that you can act in ways that stay true to what you know is real. It’s that motivation to explore all manner of new ways to finally get things right.
   
  Now, here’s one final thought, and I think it’s important to mention: Cognitive consonance is not the absence of work or stress, or temptation. No, maintaining that equilibrium between strong beliefs and strong actions still requires a   thoughtful and vigilant process. When we Elders tell you to nurture your quit, and protect your quit, and guard it, what we’re reminding you to do is   keep cultivating your cognitive consonance, those "good voices inside your mind". We encourage you to keep reading and studying and exploring, so that you can   keep modulating your quit, and harmonizing your truth with your actions.
   
  Why isn’t cognitive consonace a “one-and-done” decision where you “set it and forget it”? Why isn't a Quit a one-day event? Well, because   Life is out there, waiting with surprises and tomfoolery…
   
   
   “I can always just quit again in a few days.”
   
   “I haven’t smoked in 4 years! I deserve a little ‘treat’!”
   
   “I thought I could handle anything without smoking, but _______ pushed me over the edge.”
   
   “Oooooh, that cigarette smells so good! I’ll just bum one…”
   
   
  Life will always be full of triggers, both expected and unexpected. And, our crafty ol’ addiction seems to always have a hidden ace up its sleeve, ready to cheat and scheme when you thought the game was won long ago. So, like it or not, cognitive consonance requires upkeep and sharpening. And, honestly, that is pretty much the definition of both Quitting and Recovery: Keeping it sharp and keeping it smart.
   
  Frankly, I’d much rather work at staying in balance than struggle along being split in half.
   
   
   STORM: 1,000+
   
  (Let me tell ya, I just skimmed the surface of the all the material there is on cognitive relationships. If you’re the kind of person who also draws motivation from digging down to the roots of why we do the things we do, then I’ll pass along just one “  homework assignment” for you to consider this week.
   
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