My fellow quitters, comrades and supporters I would like to thank you for your support and your messages. Unfortunately, today was a very rough day. I lost it. Mentally and physically. I apologise for letting you down more than I feel sorry for myself. I failed. I wanted to buy a pack and smoke it just to have company in a cafe. Just me and this bad habit I'm trying to quit. My antidepressants don't allow me to cry and release the pain I'm suffering inside of me. I just wanted a company. I have no one. No friend. Not a relationship. No job. I am trying to support my disabled mother. I am strangling financially. I am young, 28 years old. But I wil start again when I finish this pack. I won't do any favour to my enemies to watch me suffer. I have dignity and pride. I am a great person. But things right now are tough. I hope for your understanding. I will try again and be better. I have failed many times but I always get up. I am stronger than I can even imagine. I believe in me. I just wanted a company. But this thing is not a true friend. This thing wants me as well but to make me ill. But with the new year there will be no cigarettes and no excuses. But things in the future will be brights and shiny. I listen to this song from Iron Maiden, they say:
"So understand,
Don't waste your time always searching for
those wasted years
Face up, make your stand
And realise you are living in the golden years"
P.S. Excuse my English.
