Prior to this 3 week quit, I was torturing myself by smoking then not smoking. I had the warped belief that I could smoke one , then next thing I know , I was back to my addictive habits. I decided to get off the roller coaster .So, here's the dilema ~ I'm not willing to avoid spending time with a close friend that smokes. When I get together with her, it's always been coffee & cigarettes. She'll give a WTG when I quit. The facts are that she will continue to smoke in her car with myself & her children, says  ~ I have too much stress to quit,  Maybe  this isn't the right time for you to quit, You can get on your own band wagon, I'm gonna smoke. I feel good about not smoking, but after coming home, I want  to cry cuz I want to smoke ~ I think,  I'll always be a smoker. I need to stop fighting it. I have fallen in this trap over & over.Any remarks will be appreciated.

I was here a little while go, but didn't post a blog. I went to my usual drugstore where I always bought my cigarettes. I put my mascara on the counter & said I also need ~ the cashier turned to grab my choice of drug ~ only to hear me say "a book of stamps" He became out of sorts, I'm still giggling. I could smell the smoke on the lady in front of me. Disgusting but tempting. The timing was just before I made it to the 72 hr point. A major impact for me was when I read Allen Carr's book ~ whether you like it or not, you've just smoked you last cigarette ~ I remind myself constantly that I no longer smoke. After months of smoking then not smoking (torture), I now know to not my guard down. One leads to more quicker than you think. Don't play with fire!

I don't recall my last visit/post here. I also don't remember when exactly I began the vicious cycle of smoking/not smoking. Pure insanity! I've gone days/weeks not smoking only to smoke again. The specifics really don't matter, what matters is that I've not quit succesfully. So here I am, making the commitment to quit. This time it's cold turkey. Sugarfree is my gum choice.  At this point, I need to work thru my guilt & disappointment. I'm looking for support & encouragement.

Here I am with almost 17 days smoke free. I've only used two pieces of 2mg. nicotine gum today. No anxiety, no stress. I'm enjoying living a normal (?) life as an ex smoker. I feel free. So why am I feeling like it's only a matter of time that my inner junkie will surface & I'll end up homeless living under a bridge trying to score my next fix?

I received an email from a member of this website ( obviously by mistake ). That email was a criticisim of another website member. Silly me ~ I thought this was site was to support others trying to quit.

My desire to not smoke is becoming stonger than my desire to smoke. I have plenty of ups & downs, but I haven't been willing to walk a block to the gas station- maybe our 12 degree temperature this morning was dive intervention!

I'm having a hard time on day #13. Sometimes reading the blogs make me really want to smoke. I decided to add a few friends that I find to be positive reinforement, as well as, a.few that I can relate to, Today, I don't want to think about this anymore, I just want to cry. I want to eat large amounts of Cheetos & chocolate. That's really weird cuz I'm doing a lot of research on the benefits of eating a plant based diet. I'm also shifting to being vegan.

My name is Mary--my friends all call me Mare. I consider all of you my friends--always here to listen & always having kind words.of support.      You used to know me as fussy

 I'm in a not so nice mind frame. I'm rather irritated for no paticular reason. I haven't "lost it", but I just want  everyone to leave me alone. I'm on day 9, using nicotine lozenges/gum. How will I ever make it with this dissmal outlook?  I usually can see the bright side, but not in a few days.  I have no desire to buy any cigarettes, as I know I've stopped smoking. I'm happy to not be smoking, so what's the problem?

Thank all of you for your support! I made it through day 5. I'm now on day 6 & feeling less blue this morning. I actually had quite a silly/fun morning with my son before he left for school. Hopefully, my tears today will be of joy.