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I CAN do this
I've been smoking since I was 15 years old. My father used to tell me to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Well I was never going to really drink because my family has a strong tendancy to become alcoholics. He also would tell me never to start smoking. I had heard this from the time I was 10 or so and I never thought I would. Disappointingly enough I had started only a few years later. He was so disappointed when he found out when I was 4 months shy of my 18th birthday.
I wasn't the type of person to go out partying or looking for status of being "cool"; I was actually trying to quit self-harming myself. I know now that I was still self-harming just in a different way. In the 9 years (WOW when did that happen?); I have stopped burning myself and saught treatment through medication to deal with my manic depression and PTSD. However, the smoking has continued.
My fiance has been smoking for the last 6 years but has attempted several quits and has successfully quit several times cold turkey. Had I also quit he would have never started back up again. I have always been jealous for his ability to do that but I hope that this time around having his support will help me. I want to live a healthier life and live positively.
I have done several different things to make my mental/emotional place better and hope that by doing so quitting will just be one more thing to helping me live a better life. Both of my parents smoked my entire life and continue to do so. I currently live with my parents and they are now going through a divorce. I feel like I need to quit smoking but know that the challenge will be immense during this time of strife in my family and home.
I hope that I can be strong and fight this habit and never start it back up again. I want a better life and hope to make new friends in this journey.
Last updated 452 days ago by Hemihatesdodge
Every time you think about lighting up remember the reasons that you want to quit in the first place. Thinking about your why is important and you will be able to work harder at the battle itself. Your not alone I promise.
marie0991 436 days ago